Its 2:03 AM in the morning and there is this sense of fear in my mind thinking about how my life would be in few months. Where will I end up? What will I do? What am I doing now? Why am I wasting my time writing this and not studying? And then there is this pause and then I can imagine my graduation degree in my hand with lots of memories. And thinking about that I feel like enjoying right now, not wasting a minute and collect as many memories as I can. But that’s not possible. Because that’s not practical. And I have to think practical as I am no more a kid now. That’s the rule number one which you have to follow when you enter in the world of adulthood. Its crazy how suddenly you have to think about your future and not about sugar candies anymore, even if you want to. I love sugar candies not just that I love everything that has sugar. It makes you fat, practically speaking but it makes you HAPPY!
It’s terrifying that after a point of time you have to take your own decisions and plan your life and you know what’s even scarier? That this was the life you always wanted when you were a kid. You wanted to be a grown up person and take your own decisions. But standing by your own is not an easy job. I am not even near that and when I try to plan things for my future I see myself sitting on the pot thinking that might help. But Shit! That doesn’t work anymore. Because now that you are on your own even the pot will not help you and all you can expect from it is to take your shit.
Sometimes I feel like shouting out loud and do stuff that I used to do when I was a carefree kid but then the very next moment someone or the other reminds me of my age and asks me to stop acting lame and stupid. But I don’t want to act normal. The kind of normal everybody behaves even if they don’t want to. As an adult you have to be mature. It fascinates you sometimes and it surely teaches you a lot of things but in the end of the day you want to sleep like a baby but now that you have left your childhood behind, you have to sleep with random confusing thoughts or just stay awake all night like me. I am not comparing myself with my parents or that age because I have no idea what they are thinking but what I know is they know what they are doing and what they will do for the rest of their lives. So, you know, this journey will never end. Like it or not.
WELCOME TO ADULTHOOD.