“Thoughts” Not To Be Shared.

There will be times when you feel caged and tied with a rope you can’t burn. You want to express your feelings but you can’t because those will be misunderstood everywhere.
It is sad to accept the fact that the people you think are there for you are actually interpreting you in some other manner. Whether they are your parents or your siblings or the ones you love more than yourself.
Something like this is happening with me.
I try to control my thoughts because I know nobody would understand what they actually mean. And it is very hard. I know you would be thinking what actually happened but this is not about that one instance. It is about my whole life. In which I was never actually understood. My materialistic demands were of course granted but the emotions were always misunderstood.
People ask me why I am so against the patriarchal nature of people around me? The reply to this is because I have always suffered because of this nature. There was a time when slogans like girls are equal well there is still such existence of slogans but I don’t think anybody actually care about those. At least my parents don’t.
They still think that girls are better inside the house and that is the only place for them to survive. Oh! Lemme tell you that I do study and live in a hostel but still I hear these things when I come home and when there is an argument over something where my thoughts are not matching theirs that what I listen : ‘were we wrong to send you away for studies? We should have kept you home so that your thought process would not work like it does now.’
I mean Why??? When you do send your girls out then when you are so insecure that they will bring shame to the name of your family which actually does not matter to anybody in the whole fucking world except a few people around you who don’t really respect you the way you expect. And because of these things you stop your girl to express her thoughts keeping in the mind the mentality other people have?????
YES! Things like these are still there in the world of 2015.
This is so annoying. You want to go out. But you can’t because it’s not safe for girls. And even if it’s safe it is a shame that a girl hangs around like boys.
Many of you must be thinking that these have gone away long ago. But no! They still exist. They still are there affecting the lives of people. I won’t say every home has such things but yes there are people who wants to control the lives of their baby girls who actually want to fly away and live their life according to themselves.
There will be many who cannot actually relate to this but there will be girls who would cry thinking about these things.
You keep your girl in pressure of something you want out of her, that you planned according to yourself for her life without asking if she is okay with it. That’s really sad.
Let her understand the meaning of life because God has already made a plan for her which is way stronger than yours.
I am not saying parents like these are bad or anything. They are right on their part. As for them they are planning a secure life for their baby girl but the baby girl is no more a baby. She wants to know the world which you are trying to hide and know the people you want to beware her. So that she is much mature to know that whom she should be with and whom she should not.
Stop misunderstanding the mental process rather change yours.

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Shakespeare In Love

Shakespeare In Love

Okay. So this one is going to be a little deep.

We have all heard about the play Romeo and juliet which we think or used to think is a real incident that happened and then we swear the love of Romeo and Juliet that we will love just like them or we can say ‘live together die together’ unconditional love. But did actually something like this could have happened in the era where girls were not even supposed to let out of their houses with their nurses and guards? Well I must say Shakespeare was a man of great imagination and courage that he wrote a play which is still on the lips of several lovers as an ideal example of true love. He must have got a very strong inspiration for this.

And I understood this after watching this movie ‘Shakespeare in love’ (1998) that undoubtedly won 7 oscars and many other awards or this outrageous screenplay and direction. This movie shows how William Shakespeare lost his will to write and then how he finds his true lover who inspires him to write a play we still talk about. Its about Shakespeare’s own love story, in which nobody dies, neither their love diminishes but they could not be together. His lover gets married to somebody she does not like. When they both fall apart William Shakespeare thinks of giving up on poetry and drama but what keeps him writing is the inspiration of love he gets. And after that in his every play there is a scent of his lover whom he could not live with. This is a very short description of this movie. This is has lot more than this. Talking about its other themes it shows the patriarchal society where women were not allowed to act in theaters. But when the play ‘Romeo and Juliet’ is performed in the theater it is the woman (Shakespeare’s lover itself) who acts in front of everybody and gets appreciated. Everybody could see their love on the stage too. How Shakespeare and Viola (Romeo and Juliet in the play) are into each other. Their love was deep and true that was showed in the play. All those kisses and love with every line of poetry actually touches your heart.

So all that I want to say is that rather than believing in the story of Romeo and Juliet believe in the power of your own love and make that your inspiration of living and believing in yourself.

This was a love story that taught us the true meaning of love and not the one we see in today’s cinema where they shot each other in love by taking the name of Romeo and Juliet. Thats more of an insult and mock about the feelings of Shakespeare and his writings.

Vacation-al Thoughts.

Vacation-al  Thoughts.

There are times why you just lie down on your couch and try to think. Think what exactly is happening to you. And then you get something inside your head. One word. One thought.

“I am Blank.”

And here you just throw yourself in something and call it depression and agree or not but that is really dangerously fancy word to use here. But yea you think something is wrong with you. You dont know where your life is heading and all you want is some source of inspiration and sometimes music is not the solution. Most of the times it is. Like right now I am listening to my playlist after so long and though i am feeling happy but there is no smile on my face. I dont feel like smiling because songs are not what you need all the time. You need a spark. Not the one afrojack composed instead the real one.

I was thinking about this spark in the shower and there was none. I am so dependent even on my own life that i want something out of it to stay happy. i know that sounds very odd but yes sometimes we need that motivation that helps you to be a better person specially when you don’t have anything to do or you don’t want to.

there are times when I have a ton of work to do but I don’t because i don’t feel like doing it. And this is the problem. This ‘I don’t feel like doing it’ thing is so frustrating. This is not being lazy. Neither I am procrastinating. I am in my certain mode of life that doesn’t want me to get me ass up and do something.

And this is what we call vacations.My type of vacations. When you come back in months, for months away from your friends and stay in your bed all the time. Do nothing means Doing Nothing that means its a job too for you. You don’t go out. No hangouts. No social life. Oh but yes you are all the time active on Facebook, Instagram etc.

I know what’s on everybody’s mind right now that what is wrong with me. I started writing this as if I am so depressed and sad and confused but all I am suffering through is a period of time where people usually enjoy and i write about it.

TADA!

Happy Summers Guys!

Lets Talk About It!

Lets Talk About It!

Every relationship has fights. We fight. We make up and start loving in the same way we used to. This goes on again and again and again.

And then there is this point where those fights are too much to handle and you can’t take any of it anymore. All you want is peace. with or without the person you love. Suddenly you don’t see the future without the person but just want to get rid of them. Such disturbing fights which actually doesn’t have a meaning in real. You think of killing the person or you kill yourself. There is this asphyxiate in your body which is really really frustrating and you can’t do anything with that.

Texting it’s all over doesnot really works, I am not saying it should but lets face it you are not serious about it and he/she knows it. they know you can’t do it and neither can they. So it keeps on going on and on. The arguments keep on hitting your brain and then your brain starts shouting like “what the fuck is happening?” and you are like “hey brainy, you wait and watch.” Every single argument is as stupid as spongebob talking under the water and breathe. But still it keeps on going. and rather than actually clearing out things you both just give up. Like you don’t have the energy to explain and think and work out things well. And poof! I love you! Just like the opening scene of PS I lOVE YOU.. fighting and suddenly the urge to kiss and make love and say sorry without talking about it. It happens only behind the screen. In real you just get tired of shouting and abusing and so now you need a hug and love to make yourself calm or just stay away.

Of Course you love him/her and they do too but we have to work out things and stop this to happen again and again. but no. leave it for the next time. This is what happens. You see talking about things  n is really important just like a kiss is really important when you say goodbye. You have to sit and talk and when you can’t you have to think individually and relax your minds and work out on things. [in case of long distance.]

People don’t realise what they have. And this is the problem, they don’t want to see what will happen or how much they will miss these fights too when they’ll no longer be together (ego clashes). Its good to fight over things but never let that spoil your relationship because you have done very good deeds that you have people to cry and laugh with. [I am not saying single people are not happy. Trust me you guys are really happy]. So destroying your feelings and just cut the topic does not work. Talking is really important.

Hope this helps people who can relate to it. KEEP LOVING! 🙂

Fancies That Never Come True.

Fancies That Never Come True.

There are so many things which want them to happen in your lives. Things that make you smile and give you the real happiness and sometimes you just wish they happen and just wait.

And all your life goes down in that waiting only.

Isn’t this scary? Soooo scary! Thinking that all that you want will never happen and those will be just the incomplete wishes that will never come true and there is nobody who can help you or make them happen. Not a single One!

And these thoughts are always banging in my head telling me that all my wishes will never come true and will turn into a forever WISH! I know this is so sad. I mean why cant we just do what we want to do? Why there are so many things around you which doesn’t even make you happy and just stops you for living your dreams. Watching other people living their lives according to themselves and you staring them with those glittery eyes hoping that someday that will happen what you have always admired for and live with that little hope.

Its not like you are living some depressing life. You too have fun with your friends, sometimes party and dance on your own beats but somewhere inside you are answerable to somebody for your actions. Its like I want to have a drink and then a voice in your head pops and warns you.. “Ohh careful you need to get back home fine.” Well its fine, but sometimes you feel like doing whatever the hell you want to do without giving any explanations to anybody and simply live. Its like in that same situation : I want to have a drink and then that same sound in head pops with a different statement saying..”what? just one? Why? Lets party hard today people.” [STATUTORY WARNING: I am not asking anybody to drink all night and harm yourself in any way]

So you know these are very little examples for what I am trying to say here. The bad thing is that you have a long long life bucket list that probably will never happen. But still you wait. Wish again and dream. That is what positive life is right? You don’t care when will it happen or anything but one day you will go the road alone and sleep under the stars with your beloved.

All of this happen with me.

I keep on adding things in my list that might or might not happen (probably they wont) and just wait till they happen and watch other people living theirs. Maybe they are also dealing with some other kind of thing or live in another environment but They are not aliens right? So yeahh Maybe god has some other boring plans that i have never thought of.

But sometimes you need something good happen in your life that at least keeps up that hope that someday all those wishes will come true. I have been waiting for mine since I was 12. None has happened till now! But still smiling with open arms with that hope in my heart!

LOVE As We Know It!

LOVE As We Know It!

People.

All around you are so selfish. All they care about is their feelings their things, their needs.

Even if they say that they love a person they’ll still think about themselves first. It’s so weird that we are the person who brings out term like unconditional love and selflessness but do they actually exist somewhere?

I don’t think so.  Everyone in this world is so self-centred that they don’t think about the one they love too. And this is a very harsh fact.

Maybe even I am just the same. But when I compare things and situations how one person reacted and on the same situation how the other one and how I did. There is a huge difference. Of course this is what we call change that is inside every person. No one is alike. Each of us is different in every way. Ways like appearance, like likes or dislikes and things like their Nature.

People we love are the one we truly care about but when the choice is between the person we love and ourselves we choose us. Of course that’s human nature we call now a days.

But what is selflessness then? Was that just a term or people really existed who loves in that manner? Is it the era or the time we should blame that there is no such meaning left and love and care also comes with terms and conditions or never such thing actually happened.

It is not just in the terms of romance but in terms of every kind of love and relationship. Are we so ‘alone and happy with it’ that we don’t give a damn about anything around us and just care about what and how that is going affect us?

Sometimes all you need is that selfless love that may or may not exist but you have always admired and wanted. Everybody wants it. But don’t you think that for that even you need to change yourself and love people in your life without that T&C tag over it and just be selfless? I tried that too. I was selfless for some time and I still act like that too but when you don’t get anything like that in return it really hurts. Of course it will. Human nature we call it. But isn’t that’s selfish too? Becoming selfless in love because you expect the same and when you don’t get that you just run away or just break it up. That’s really complicated. I know it. I can feel those complications right now. And I know everybody did at least once in their lives. As a teenager people might think me as an overemotional thinker who tangles her thoughts about feelings and emotions and becoming selfless in love. Maybe they are right but these feelings are really hard to escape. You cannot just run away from all these feelings, at least I couldn’t. And all I realised from this is that definitions like ‘selfless’ and ‘unconditional’ love doesn’t exist in this world.

You love because you need someone who could love you the same way you do. Of course that is one of the kinds of love but not the one people dream about. We live in a practical world where all we need to do is think about ourselves and get what we want. This has been turned into a NEED. You have to be selfish if you want to survive. But all I wish for is to once experience the love and affection that is just for me and without any regulations and love the person in the same way.  AND THIS IS NOT BEING SELFISH! I just want to experience it. And I am not asking to die for me what people think selfless love is. Just love without expecting anything in return.

PS: I am not generalising but interpreting one of the stages of life that might or might not occur in one’s life.

Corralled Hope

tumblr_mhd32uxtLc1qa2txho1_500 She was always kept in a cage 

Not to save her but to save themselves 

not because she roared , but because they thought the world will gash her 

and so they locked her 

locked her dreams, dreams that she always wanted to live 

and what all she dreams for?!

 to roam around the world

  she wanted to jaunt , 

sometimes alone, sometimes with the one she loves,

sometimes with her friends who tease her from the out of that cage standing free.

Nobody noticed.

they heard her cries but never listened

she was capable of everything but her wings were taken a long time ago

she thought, why she is the only one?

but  nobody answered.

 She tried not to dream, but the sleep of her tiring imprisoned life gave her this escape, then how could she not?!

They loved her, feed her, fulfilled all her stupid desires but still she was kept in that corral , 

where she could breathe but for others,

where she could love but with fear,

where she could smile to hide her tears .

such was the inexorable life of that girl,

standing in sunlight with darkness around her.

Wish she could fly in her own way, and this is the dream 

she is still waiting it to come true some day.